COVID year 2020 has been a great year for pets.
In December 2020, Science News released a study on the lifesaving role pets have had on our lives in 2020. Lead author Dr. Janette Young says,
“In a year when human contact has been so limited and people have been deprived of touch, the health impacts on our quality of life have been enormous. To fill the void of loneliness and provide a buf er against stress, there has been a global upsurge in people adopting dogs and cats from animal shelters during lockdowns. Breeders have also been inundated, with demands for puppies quadrupling some waiting lists.”
Why We Love Dogs
I have told my dogs that we will get through 2020 about a million times this year – and they believe me. Unconditionally.
My dogs get me going outside. One of the top ten reasons that humans love dogs is protection, but the truth is: I am addicted to running my fingers through my Aussie’s fur.
My dogs make me laugh. This piece is a tribute to all our favorite, funny, fabulous dogs.
“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” – Dereke Bruce
“Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?”- Anonymous
“Why do dogs like conjunctions? They just love buts.”
“What do you call a floating dog? A good buoy.”
“My Dog = Best. Decision. Ever.”
“Doggos; the natural antidepressant.”
“If you don’t like dogs, I don’t like you. It’s as simple as that.”
“I don’t need a dating app. I just go to the dog park and look for the biggest guy with the littlest dog and know I’ve found someone who’s secure with himself.”
“Dorothy taught us that all a girl really needs is a nice pair of shoes and a very loyal dog.”
Australian Shepherds
Some people ask, “Do Australian Shepherds make good house dogs?”. The answer is yes – and no. Aussies love to be with their people and will slavishly follow them around and lie on their feet.
But – they’d rather be fetching, running, digging, eating sticks, hanging out a car window, dropping balls in streams, running up a fourteener, chasing bunnies, chasing bears, chasing deer, chasing crows, digging up chipmunk holes, barking at
squirrels, barking at annoyed neighbors, barking at skunks, barking at their own reflections, rolling in mud, rolling in snow, or rolling in a dead animal.
But here’s the thing: you can open the door for an Aussie but you can’t make them go outside unless you go too.
Others may ask, “Is the Australian Shepherd high maintenance?”. The answer is yes – and no. Aussies are a healthy breed. They are medium-sized and have boxy frames. They have no joint problems or issues stemming from inbreeding.
But: they shed their silky hair constantly, they are needy to the point of annoyance, they bore easily and then get into heaps of trouble, they are neurotic, and they can develop weird phobias. They are afraid of loud noises, medium noises, faint noises, Home Depot shopping, mirrors and the floor.
“Aussie Fact #8: We shed twice a year – 6 months in the Spring and 6 months in the Fall”
“I dream of sheep.”
“My adorable pain in the ass.”
“You cannot run without being ‘herded’ in the correct direction when you own an Aussie.”
“Aussies are very intelligent and learn by observing (remember that the next time you are digging a hole in the backyard).”
“The Aussie: Are they back yet? How about now? Now? Are they back now? What about now? Are they back now?” – Angelbattle Bros/Flickr
Basset Hounds
When people think of Bassett hounds, the image that pops up is a forlorn, stout, wrinkly dog with crazy long ears lounging on a sofa. A comical-looking dog, Bassets are excellent, low-key companions to kids and other pets. Basset Hounds are famously stubborn and surprisingly high maintenance.
Bassets have “pungent” coats at normal times – and the stink gets worse when its wet. Basset’s giant ears help with hunting, but they need frequent attention to prevent infections.
Bassets can be extremely lazy, and they are not genetically blessed with svelte bodies. Obesity can be a problem. Bassets woof, bark, howl, moan, and wail – when you are not at home, but the neighbor is.
Bassets can sometimes be led astray by their noses. A scent is irresistible – calling your Bassett, yelling, chasing, even bribing them with treats will not stop them from following their noses across the park, into neighbor yards, and out of sight.
“There’s no need to repeat yourself… I ignored you fine the first time.”
“I help blind people, I give them independence, says the Black Labrador. I protect people, I help them walk around with fear of criminals, says the German Shepherd. I eat shoes, says the Basset Hound.”
“I’m not lazy. I’m guarding these pots until the plants start growing.”
“Yeah, I’m all about fitness…fitness this whole pizza in my mouth.”
“Mix a Newfoundland with a Bassett Hound, you get the Newfound Asset Hound. A dog for financial advisors. ” –
Good Dog! magazine
Great Danes
Great Danes are highly affectionate and social. They are elegant and regal. Even though they are one of the largest breeds, weighing in at up to 200 pounds, they’d still rather be – in your lap. Better have a full-size couch and a king-size bed because Great Danes are sprawlers.
Great Danes are famously comical – there’s Marmaduke, Scooby Doo and Astro. Goofballs. But – they are the official state dog of Pennsylvania and the national dog of Germany.
Great Danes do not make the top ten list of the smartest dogs – but they are great watchdogs! No burglar would enter a house with a Great Dane, even if they are actually couch potatoes.
Fun fact: A Great Dane named Juliana was awarded a Blue Cross Medal in 1941 for extinguishing a bomb. To put it out -she peed on it.
Sadly, the biggest downside to a Great Dane is its short lifespan.
“No matter how big it is, somehow every Great Dane will find its way into its owner’s lap… or the cat’s bed.” “Courageous, beautiful, slightly goofy. That’s a Great Dane for you.”
“Normally I have more composure (says the Great Dane standing on the dishwasher). However, in all fairness, it was a BIG spider.”
“You know you own a Great Dane – when you give up on water dishes and just use the bathtub” “You know you own a Great Dane – when it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vet’s” of ice.” “You know you own a Great Dane – when you leave color-coded ‘drool towels’ in every room.”
“You know you have a Great Dane – when you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns.”
“You know you have a Great Dane – when the monthly dogfood budget exceeds the mortgage payment.” Cardigan Welsh and Pembroke Welsh Corgis
It’s pretty hard to imagine that Corgis – adorable, ridiculous, cuddly and comical – were once bred as pets of warriors. Yup, the Vikings loved them.
The word Corgi means “dwarf dog” in Welsh. In Welsh folklore, elves rode Corgis around like ponies. They (and their fluffy butts) have ruled the internet in 2020. In Japanese, fluffy Corgi butts are called momo – or peaches.
Corgis make weird noises. They bark, moan, whine, huff, puff and howl. Corgis sometimes stink – aka Corgi glitter. Corgis do not make the top ten list of intelligent dogs and are famous shedders.
Britain’s Queen Elizabeth famously loves Corgis, as well as horror author Steven King and actor Diane Keaton. Queen Elizabeth has had over 30 Corgis in her lifetime.
Corgis have outsized personalities, oversized ears, giant grins and round, fluffy butts. Irresistible.
“Go ahead. I’m all ears.”
“What a Corgi lacks in stature he makes up for in entertainment value.”
“It is said that all puppies are cute, but Corgi puppies rock cuteness to the moon.”
“There ain’t no butt like a Corgi butt.”
“Who needs a gnome? Get a garden Corgi instead.”
“The neighbor’s children were making a lot of noise, I HERD them.. no, really, I HERD them into the corner of the yard.”
“Whoa, this breed of rabbit looks just like a corgi.”
“Corgum – (noun). Corgum is the plural form of corgi. It can be a group or pack of corgis being ridiculous (as always). Occasionally, you can use it when a single corgi is being silly or weird: ‘Why are you trying to ride my skateboard, silly corgum?’ Beware of large packs of corgum, as they can suf ocate you in derp or wipe out your supply of peanut butter.”
“Question: Why are corgis such great dogs to bring hunting? Answer: Because there’s no need for camouflage, they’re in-corg-nito.”
“What kind of corgi does not have any penny? A Pembroke corgi.”
“What do you call a corgi that got stuck in the champagne bottle? A corki.”
“What would you have if you cross a corgi with a snail? You get an escorgot.”
“Talk to the fluf .”
I Prefer to Laugh
And now, we celebrate the end of The Worst Year Ever with stupid dog jokes.
“Breed a Boxer with a German Shorthaired Pointer, you get a Boxershorts. A dog never seen in public. ” – Good Dog! magazine
“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” – Lewis Grizzar “I have a dog named TAX and when I open the door; INCOME TAX.”
“Q: What is a dog’s favorite food? A: Anything that is on your plate!”
“My puppy isn’t fat, he’s just a little husky.”
“A three legged dog walks in the bar and says – “I’m lookin’ for the guy who shot my paw.”
